Topical Jokes, January 04, 2019

It was recently reported that former American Idol co-host Brian Dunkleman is driving an Uber to make ends meet. He may not be sitting on a $410 million dollar media empire like his former American Idol co-host Ryan Seacrest, but at least he’s rich in knowing that he won’t be remembered for trying to high-five a blind man on national tv.

A new study by researchers at the Aesu.Kipp Institute in Germany suggests that a food additive called microbial transglutaminase, or “meat glue”, may be a cause of celiac disease. To avoid developing the gluten intolerance, researchers suggest to eat only Elmer’s brand of glue, as it’s nontoxic, and perfect for arts and crafts.

The Bureau of Labor and statistics issued its December job report on Friday, reporting 312,000 new jobs were added to the US Economy for the month. What the report didn’t say was that 311,999 of those jobs were created to aide in the ongoing Trump investigations. At least he kept up on one of his campaign promises.