Topical Jokes, April 16, 2019

Last week, a Florida man was arrested at an Olive Garden after police say he caused a drunken disturbance and was shoveling spaghetti into his mouth with his hands. Reportedly, officers gave the assailant paper towels to clean up the pasta on his face, forcing the Italian-food chain to rebrand their tagline, "When you're here, you're criminals."

A house sitter in Portland, Oregon, called 911 last week reporting a home invasion. Deputies entered the home with guns drawn, only to find the intruder was nothing more than a robotic vacuum cleaner. The 10 dust bunnies, two ants and the six-year-old Cheez-It that were being held hostage by the Roomba were rescued unharmed.

A new study from Harvard University show that wormholes, may indeed exist. However, the report says that they do not provide instant teleportation, as depicted in many SciFi novels. Researchers also have also confirmed that the moon, is in fact, not made of cheese.