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  • Writer's pictureErin Maher

Aaron's Party...and Subsequent Court Summons

Because...ain't nobody throw a whack-ass party like Aaron can

Picture of Aaron Carter, Singer
Aaron Carter





Case No: 09.26.2000.02

Complaint: Threw a whack-ass party

This is an action of the State of California against Aaron Charles Carter, of which the defendant is a resident. 

According to police reports, on the night of September 26, 2000, the defendant (Aaron Charles Carter) threw a party full of local underage residents, motivated by his wish to be, “the flyest kid on the block, the popular one with the rising stocks.”

It has yet to be determined why he mentioned “rising stock.” We believe he may have insider trading information; further investigation is needed.

The defendant set upon a mission to throw, “the party of the year,” at his parents’ home, located at 123 Riding on My Brother’s Coattails Court. 

The defendant, whom we believe to be mentally unstable from the chemical exposure he endures due to his highly bleached and gelled hair, hoodwinked his parents into going out on a Friday night and leave him unsupervised. He was only 12 years of age.

At this party, the following state violations occurred:

  1. Wore zip-off pants, and did not, zip-off the pants—what a tease. 

  2. Had over 3,000 puberty-aged tweens crammed into his parents’ home, which not only exceeded the building occupancy fire-code, but saw four hospitalizations from kids who choked on the overwhelming smell of AXE body spray.

  3.  Provided no alcohol, only juice, which was spilled on a couch cushion.

  4. Caused over $300 worth of property damage, including scuff marks from jumping on his kitchen table, and breaking an expensive French lamp.

  5. The defendant shockingly erected a floating stage above his backyard pool, complete with a whole lighting rig and a disco ball. The defendant did not have a permit for any of the antics and violated a minimum of 10 town building codes.

  6. Underneath his very illegal disco ball, the defendant performed a choreographed dance with individuals wearing all red and were members of the local Bloods gang affiliate. For the court records, we should note, we were impressed with their dance moves.

The court should take into consideration that police reports initially cited the defendant as “potentially deaf,” as he kept screaming, “WHAT?!” and “COME GET IT” to fellow party-goers, so please retain an American Sign Language Interpreter for the court proceedings.

In terms of sentencing, the plaintiff is looking for damages in the forms of picking the defendant, “from his family tree,” getting grounded and missing his scheduled celebrity basketball match against Shaquille O’Neal, which we believe to be already rigged. 

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